OOOPS

Are you ever in the car and get pissed at someone and then realize it was your mistake? I did that the other day. I was in the drive through for Starbucks, i.e., the best invention ever. This lady pulled her car up in front of mine and pointed, making it look like she wanted to get in front of me in line. I looked at her like she was nuts and mouthed "no", shaking my head with sass. Then she gave me a "you suck" look and shook her head as well. Then I realized that she wasn't wanting the spot in front of me, she wanted the parking spot just beyond my car that I was blocking. I immediately backed up to let her go through, but I couldn't look at her again out of shame. But come on, that would have sucked if she was asking to get in front of me, right?

CHRISTMAS CHEER

I know this might not be popular to say, but who cares, this is my own blog, so screw you! No, I'm just joking, sorta. Anyway, every year around this time everyone gets Christmas fever. Everyone but non Christians. Every year I hear about people complaining that there's all this emphasis on Christmas and not about Hanukkah, Quanza, or whichever you choose to believe. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's bullshite too that Christmas is stuffed down everyone's throat.

But, to be fair, we should all celebrate Christmas, not as the birth of baby Jesus, but simply for the fact that we get time off of work, and the ability to travel and visit our loved ones, and for the most part, get paid by our jobs to do so. I mean think about it, the country doesn't get Hanukkah off, or any other holiday, that typically other people take off, but everybody is lucky enough to get "my" holiday off, yet they complain about it. I'm not saying I agree or disagree on the complaints, but what I will say is that if you're going to complain about it, and say that we can't even say "Merry Christmas" anymore, then you should not take the holiday off. If you want to go around saying "Happy Holidays" even though the only reason you're not working is because of ONE holiday, then that's fine, but you shouldn't have the pleasure of getting 2, 3 or even 5 days off.

Now, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, I agree that we need to be more sensitive about others beliefs, I get it, and whole heartily agree. What gets my panties in a bunch is the people who complain until they're blue in the face, yet have no problem taking the days off. So, even though I'm not a "believer" in the greater sense of the word, I believe enough to not feel guilty about not working. I'm just sayin'.

FLAIR BARTENDING... WTF?

It's Thursday night and a new ER isn't for at least a month, maybe longer, and I'm forced to watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Now, I'm not complaining or anything, it's a good show, but it's the repeats on USA. They have these "Character Fantasy" interstitials which are actually kinda cute. So these people they choose tell us their fantasy, "I want to be a hairdresser", "I want to be a movie star"... you get it, right?

So the one that's been going on all episode is about this guy who wants to be a "flair bartender". At first I'm kinda excited. I love gay bartenders. But then I learn that it's not fun and interesting like that, it's a kind of "mixology" where you throw the bottles around like in Cocktail (how fitting is that title with what we know now about Mr. Cruise?). You remember that movie with Tom Cruise, when he was still halfway sane and straight?

Anyway, this guy's life aspiration is to be one of these bartenders. I'm serious. Do I really want a bartender flipping my drink around? How hard is it to pour some liquid in a glass? Just pour it in. All that time you're wasting making a show I could be drinking. If I wanted to see a show I'd go to the gay club and see the hot bartenders there who get up on the bar and dance, with hardly any clothes on. I know Cruise is up for that. I'm just sayin'.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!

Maybe not by popular demand, but at least one person said they missed my rants and ravings. So here they are. And my first irritant...